The Case of T&S 2020; Good Bye My Father

お父さん、さようなら 

<<The Case of T&S; Good Bye Father>> was shown as a result of works shop which I was invited as a guest work shop a guest workshop leader on martial arts to investigate a relation between love and violence through working with martial art groups in Dili.

I was not sure what I could show next to the performance of violence by people from Timor-Leste. Only violence I can think of is that our family decided to watch my father’s death at home last year, and he suffered so much at the end of his life.Living in Japan, I don’t really see real violence in everyday life, rather violence does not take physical form anymore. For some people violence is a form of communication and entertainment, or we talk about harassment all the time. Japan is more or less in a peaceful state but I feel how we humans are helpless. We need to keep making new friends and learn from each other.

東ティモールでのワークショップの間、私自身は本を読んだり、ずっと家のコンピューターの前で彼らと話し続けるだけで、結局暴力については何も学んでいないと思います。展示の時に、東ティモールのパワフルな作品の横では何を見せればいいのかわからなくなりました。

唯一の私が思いつく暴力といえば、昨年、私の父の死を家族で自宅で看取ったことです。父は人生の最後にとても苦し見ました。ビデオ作品<The Case of T&S 2020; Good Bye Father|お父さん、さようなら>>では父の最後の息を引き取るところを見せました。 

父は22年間の闘病生活の後に急性癌で余命二週間と言われながら、2ヶ月間窒息死を防ぐため毎日チューブで肺から痰を吸い出され、苦しみ抜いて亡くなりました。家族の私達の彼に生きて欲しいという愛情はある意味暴力であり、父はすぐにでも死にたかったと思うが、私達への愛情のために生き抜き最後を迎えました。

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A Photography Exhibition’7,610-kilometer Distance: Finally, We’ve Met One Another’byREKREATIF photographers from Timor-LesteFine art students from Silpakorn Universityand Kyoko Ebata, a guest artist from Japan1-24 AprilPSG Art GallerySilapakorn University, Bangkok


  • About the new video work in progress

Kyoko Ebata’s father died of advanced cancer after a 22-year battle with the aftereffects of a brain hemorrhage. Due to the Corona disaster, her family decided to take care of him at home.

With so little information, Ebata was not able to make rational judgments as she stayed next to him day and night, thinking that she had to say goodbye to him at the moment of his death.

Tasting the pain of not being able to help someone who was suffering in front of you and the fear of having their life or death in our hands, we hardly left his side for two months, watching him dying, saying goodbye twice, and the third time he really went.

The love of his family for him to live was violent in a way, and he would have liked to die right away, but because of his love for his family, he survived and met his end. The regret that everyone must feel is that there must have been another way to make him feel better, and it is important to tell the story of his death to the next generation.

The “end-of-life care” that is currently being promoted in the Corona disaster is completely different from the great deaths welcomed by large families in pre-modern times, and completely new from the “end-of-life care” at home in today’s nuclear family-oriented society. We need more knowledge and an auditing system.

While there are still people who see it as unavoidable to kill those who do not want to die if it is war, those who want to die have no right to die. How to deal with this contradiction only adds to the confusion. Have we changed in any way? Have we become happier? I feel the need to know more about death.

The end-of-life care of her father was also an opportunity for her to reflect on her mother, with whom she had a long history of disagreements and had hardly spoken to for over 20 years. She discovers her mother’s complex and deep love for her father, and is perplexed by the reality that her mother, who has lost her father as a guardian, is gradually accepting that her daughter is becoming a guardian as she ages, but Ebata feels that aging is gradually creeping up on her as well.

While having conversations with Utamura, who is raising her child, about life and death, love and sorrow, she also feels the importance of sharing these experiences with many people.

Currently, Ebata is working on a documentary about her father’s end-of-life care and a film about life and death based on her research of folk traditions passed down from generation to generation, centering on the old well in the house where her father grew up.

江幡京子の父は22年間、脳出血の後遺症の闘病生活の後に進行ガンで亡くなった。コロナ禍のせいもあり、家族で自宅で看取ることになった。

江幡の父は余命二週間と言われながら、二ヶ月間窒息死を防ぐため毎日チューブで肺から痰を吸い出され、苦しみ抜いた。あまりの情報の少なさに、看病した側も父の死の瞬間にさよならを言わなければならないと、昼も夜も隣につきっきりになりながら、正常な判断ができなくなっていった。

苦しんでいる人を助けてあげられない苦しみ、自分の手に相手の生死が任されるという恐怖を味わいながら、私たちは2ヶ月間父のそばをほとんど離れずに死んでいく父を見つめ、二度さよならをし、三度目に父は本当に亡くなった。

家族の私達の彼に生きて欲しいという愛情はある意味暴力であり、父はすぐにでも死にたかったと思うが、私達への愛情のために生き抜き最後を迎えた。他にもっと父を楽にさせてあげる方法があったのではと、きっと誰もが感じるであろう後悔に、次の代へこの死にまつわる話をもっと引き続いていくことの重要性を感じている。現在コロナ禍の中で進められている「看取り」をするには、近代前の大家族で迎える大往生とは全く違うもので、核家族化した現代社会での自宅での「看取り」とは全く新しいものである。私たちはより多くの知識と監査体制が必要である。

戦争であれば、死にたくない人を殺すのはやむを得ない事だと見なす人が現在も存在する中、死にたいと思っている人は死ぬ権利がない。この矛盾にどのように向き合えば良いのか混乱が深まるばかりである。私たちはどこか変わったのだろうか?より幸せになったのだろうか?死についてもっと知る必要があると感じる。

それと同時に父の看取りは、長い間不仲で20年以上ほとんどまともな対話をして来なかった母を見つめ直した機会でもあった。彼女の父に対する複雑で深い愛情を発見し、庇護者である父を亡くした母が、老いとともに娘が庇護者となっていくことを少しずつ受け止める現実に戸惑いつつも、自分自身にも少しづつ老いが忍び寄っているのを感じている。

そして、死だけを見つめ、怯え苦しむだけではなく、希望を繋いでいくことの大切さを実感し、子育て中の宇多村と生と死、愛情と悲しみについて会話を重ねつつ、これらの体験を多くの人々に伝えることの大切さを噛みしてめている。

現在江幡は父の看取りのドキュメンタリーと、父の育った家にある古井戸を中心とした古くから伝わる民間の伝承のリサーチを元に生と死の物語の映像作品を制作している。

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